Dear Motorcycle riders:

I am alive and doing well and I hope you are, too. Last January 24, I totaled my Dyna Glide on my way to Idyllwild. I was life-flighted to Desert Regional Hospital in Palm Springs with multiple compound fractures of all four limbs, a fractured skull, and a punctured lung. Some didn’t think I would live. In all, I broke twenty bones in my body that started me on a physical, mental, and spiritual journey of healing and recovery. I would like to share with you the factors that allowed me to live, and my successes in dealing with the challenge.

The most important factor was probably that I have a very strong will to live. Rule #1. There was never a doubt in my mind when I woke up two days later whether I would live. Friends that knew me well said,”If anyone can pull through this, she can.” I am still pulling myself through, but I know that I will have a complete recovery. If you’re going to ride a motorcycle, you better know that you’re strong enough to handle what’s around the next bend in case it takes you by surprise.

Two days after the crash, I was life-flighted to Scripps Memorial Hospital in LaJolla where a team of trauma doctors and a team of orthopedic surgeons went to work on me. Four surgeons spent ten hours pinning and screwing my limbs back together. My concussion was severe enough to break the bones in my middle ear and to cause me to have double vision and headaches for five months. The nurses called me the miracle patient because I lived and didn’t have brain damage. I was wearing full leathers and a full-faced helmet that day, which protected me from the pavement. I didn’t get a scratch on me. Rule #2 is wearing protective gear appropriate for the ride you are making.

The bone breaks in my legs were so severe that I have been growing bone where there was none left. It is a miracle that I am walking and my legs keep getting stronger. I am still having some limitations with my right arm and expect to have more surgery next year. I spend a lot of time doing physical therapy, working out in a swimming pool, and working out at my fitness gym. These activities add a great deal of pleasure to my less active lifestyle. I have been working out and staying fit for years, which helped me have the endurance and strength to recover as fast as I have. Life Rule #3 is stay as physically fit as possible.

Staying healthy also includes eating healthy. Rule #4 is a balanced diet with only one-third fat, eating lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, and staying away from sugary, processed foods. This also includes not smoking and overindulging in drugs or alcohol. You will enjoy life more and recover quicker if you sustain injuries.

When recovering from such serious injuries, it is not enough to work only on the physical level. Your mental and emotional health plays a big part in the healing process. Rule #5 is having a positive mental attitude that doesn’t quit when things aren’t going well. This will keep your energy up. You must, however, allow yourself to acknowledge and feel all your feelings. This is important for anyone experiencing grief. Then make a choice to get on with healing and living. Ultimately, I know that I am responsible for my own healing process. The doctors and therapists can only assist me. They can’t do the healing for me.

The recovery months are difficult and challenged with loneliness and boredom, since I have not been able to work. My knowledge of psychology, metaphysics, and stress management helped. Life Rule #6 is practice some form of stress reducing techniques. Over the years, I have practiced yoga, meditation, and journalizing. All of these became a part of my daily routine when I came home from the hospital April 1. Another important technique is visualizing your success. I only hold a picture of myself completely healed and doing the things that I love to do. The visualization must be realistic, which for me it is. If I had lost a limb, I would have to adjust this picture to fit reality. Along with this is setting a goal to achieve and stay focused on success.

I have spent a lot of time in retrospection, examining the crash and my life. I have gained much insight about the factors that led to the crash and I have learned some valuable lessons. Two lessons worth learning are patience and humility. Both of these help us remain calm. Rule #7 is be willing to learn whatever lessons are in front of you. Appreciate the simple things in life that we tend to take for granted. When you find yourself completely helpless, you immediately become conscious of how important little things are in your life and you realize that it is all little stuff.

This healing and journey would not be complete without recognizing that we are all on a spiritual path. The love of God, family, and friends has been a driving force in my life, but it was never so apparent or so acknowledged as it has been these past ten months. Rule #8 is acknowledge and appreciate the love in your life. While lying in the hospital bed, I realized that the most important thing to me was the love of family and friends. I know that I would not be where I am today without all the love, support, and prayers I received. I thank all of you who sent prayers and came to visit me. It was really wonderful to have so many visitors that the hospital staff put me in a private room so I would not disturb the other patients. The nurses always knew where the leather-clad visitors were going. I loved it! This kept my spirits up and my attention on getting well. Experiencing love also includes loving yourself. Without the love of self, we will flounder in guilt and blame. Loving yourself means forgiving yourself for making a mistake or being in the wrong place at the wrong time and getting on with it.

The only thing we can count on in this world is change. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but hopefully we are prepared for whatever it is. Life Rule #9 is have the courage to face whatever your life brings you. The only way to succeed at this is to stay in the present moment. That is a huge challenge when you are in constant pain and cannot move. It is the only way to get through it though, since it is the only place in time that you can do something to change the situation. Even though each moment was painful, I knew that I had to face it with courage and strength in order to get stronger. If I resisted the pain, it would only get worse. I cannot say that I didn’t experience fear during this process, but I knew that fear only arouses unnecessary emotions that get in the way. I wanted to continue to move forward. I realized that there is a difference between fear that protects you from harm and fear that you make up that is not based on reality. There is real fear involved with riding motorcycles and you must learn to differentiate between the fear that you need to listen to and that which you can ignore. I learned this lesson the hard way.

Other factors that will keep you safe on a motorcycle is make sure you have had enough food and rest if you are going on a long ride. If you are riding with someone, know where you are going and ask enough questions to be certain you are prepared for the ride. If you are following another rider, keep your eyes on the road, not just the person in front of you, and set your own pace. Also, set up a communication system in case there is a problem. Last, but not least, make sure your insurance is paid up.

My life was spared and I know there was a reason. There is a life purpose for all of us whether we acknowledge it or not. Life Rule #10 is know or develop a purpose that encompasses all of your life. This life purpose is not the work you do or your relationships. For me, I determined many years ago that my purpose was to support others in being all they can be and being the best expression of love that I could. These are states of being and are not about what I am doing. In this way, when what I was involved with changed, I did not completely lose a sense of who I was. Having an identity crisis does not help you recover from trauma. This was important for me because I could not work or be active in ways I had in the past. My life purpose remained the same during this process and became reinforced. As I prepare myself to return to work and the activities I enjoy, my purpose stays true for me and continues to get stronger.

During these last ten months, I couldn’t keep track of all the people who asked me if I was going to ride again. I still cannot answer that question, mostly because this is not the right time to consider it. First of all, my arm needs to be strong enough again to handle a motorcycle. Then, I will be ready to answer that question for myself. I know that I have a passionate love for riding but don’t know when the time comes, how I will feel about it.
Maybe next year, I will know.

Today, my life is full and my heart is full of love and gratitude; not just to be alive, but to be blessed with strengths and gifts I didn’t know I had. I know that my life is a spiritual journey and I want to share it with others by making myself available for motivation or inspiration to anyone in transition or crisis. If you would like to contact me, my e-mail address is etta@ettamcq.com. My prayer for you is to stay on two!